Elaina Raye Pearl

I can't hardly believe it's been 11 years since Elaina came into this world! Crazy man, Crazy~! I have to say she is a challenge to keep up with sometimes. As a small baby, she had horrible colds/pneumonia/asthma that we were in and out of the MD office and once or twice the hospital. Thank goodness she appears to be out growing it! Walked at 10 months, oral fixated and sucked her thumb, didn't talk until the age of 2 but when she did start, it was full on sentences. And from the time she was teeny tiny she has always had an opinion on how she liked things. Once, her grandmother made her a dress, cute little green and lavender butterfly print sundress and short jacket. Elaina and Emily were up on the window seat at Great Grandma's house in Spokane, Elaina was all of 2 as Eryn was about four months old. My mother in law kept talking up the dress, got Elaina into it and then asked her frowning face "Honey, don't you like it?" Elaina responded with "Nope. I don't yike it." and shook her head in a sad little way. (Great and I were stifling giggles.) "OH HONEY!? Really, you really don't like it??" Grandma asks again. Elaina responded "Nope, Not today." and realized that Grandma was about to cry, finished up with, "It's too bad. Maybe tomorrow." By this time Great Grandma and I are literally ba ha ha ha-ing rolling on the floor. Elaina has always been the kind of child who wants to put her clothes on, have them skin tight to streamline her body better, and then not think about it for the rest of the day. All hell breaks loose if she is uncomfortable in ANY way and heaven forbid should something pinch,scratch or be too loose! When Elaina got the chicken pox at the age of five, she would be so miserable that WE were too. I would run warm water into the tub with oatmeal bath and she would totally submerge her body in the water with just her face showing and go to sleep. I spent many hours by the side of the tub. She had a VERY light case of the pox... her sister's were covered in head to toe and didn't fuss nearly as much.

Now Elaina is a beautiful young girl. Right on the edge of young women's. She has a gentle heart and loves to help her little sisters read, do math and is a patient kind teacher. Elaina's goal in life is to grow up, be a teacher and live by the ocean so she can surf in the summers. She loves heat, likes to lay in the hot sand at the beaches and loves to be bundled in her blanket over the heat vents in the morning. I love it when she comes into the kitchen and ties an apron on and asks "How can I help you, Mama?" and she loves it when I let her chop, stir, mix and cook. Book smart, so smart that it's kind of amazing to think she came from me! But sometimes, she needs help with common sense reasoning...and that is where her sisters step in and help her out. Elaina is pretty much the only one who excels at Rock Band, the only one of the six of us with good rhythm and pitch. :) She is so in tune with the spirit! We can always tell the level of spiritual calm in our house by how happy Elaina is. When she gives her testimony of the Savior, it can bring tears to our eyes and the spirit touches even the hardest heart in the crowd. (We know this because she bore her testimony of the Savior to my parents and even they were impressed with her.)

We are all so excited to watch her grow up and are so very happy she chose to come to this Earth and live with us in our family. We can't hardly wait to see what will come next in her life! But for right now, we are content to have her right at the cusp of teenager life and still think her parents know it all, listen to awesome music, think up amazing things to do and are still cool to hang out with on a weekend.

You rock it girlie!

Life is To Short!

Tonight we learned that one of our favorite Lts from the correctional complex where I work was killed in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work today. A 47 year old father, husband, son, boss, friend, brother.... hard to wrap your mind around it. Brings to mind the Billy Joel song; 'Only the good die young' and how we never know when our time here is over. I'm sure he didn't hop on his bike and head home thinking that it might be the last time he gets to feel the wind on his face, hear the sound of his wife's voice over the phone, maybe listen to his favorite song on the radio.

Four years ago in June, my oldest sister was killed in her home in Sacramento, CA. In April of that year, my brother in law called to tell me that she wanted to separate and that she was being 'stubborn' and insisting on time apart, maybe even a divorce after 24 years of marriage. I told him that I was going to call Rachel and talk to her, he assured me that by my doing that would push her right over the edge and I should just 'keep her in my prayers.' I spoke to my sister over the phone many times... and we emailed EVERY day some times four and five times a day. We could crack each other up like no one else could. But never once did I get on a plane and fly down to visit, never once did I just come out and bluntly ask her what was going on. Just waited for her to tell me... when waiting was the wrong thing to do. On June 17th my brother in law used a heavy book to bludgeon her into submission, then proceeded to suffocate her to death with is his bare hands, then wrapped saran wrap around her head for good measure. Other things came out in the autopsy report that are better left alone. I spoke to my sister on the 16th via email... she emailed me back a couple of times, and the last one she sent at 9:30 that night was about her heart and how it was hurting her. I didn't receive it until the following morning after I received word that she had been killed.

Not a day goes by that I wish I had picked up that phone to call her on Friday afternoon like I had thought about doing but got caught up in the daily life of home instead. I wish I had paid more attention to all of her, in hindsight, hints that she had dropped to me... but I was too blind to see. My sister died at the age of 46. And the bastard that took her life, he is serving a fifteen year term for 2nd degree murder.

I know that I don't stop and tell my kids I love them as much as I should. I don't stop and tell my husband that I adore him and that I'm grateful for him in my life. I don't pause in my flight out the door everyday to stop and feel the sun on my face or notice the new sprouts of grass on the lawn where Dan reseeded it this fall. But I do try to call my little sister every day... or text her or message her on Facebook. I want her to know that I think of her at least once a day. I leave a note on the counter for the girls and Dan every day to say 'I love you.' I touch my children while they sleep in their beds late at night when I get home, to assure them hopefully on some sub conscience level that they are loved by me. I do try and touch bases with my friends weekly, some times only monthly, but I DO try.

I know that our Lt is off on other business right now, and that we will see him again. But this is a time for us to take a breath, to stop and feel the sun on our face, smell the scent of our children's hair when you kiss them on the head and tell them that you love them. To turn to your spouse and touch their cheek or curl up against them in the bed at night and bask in their warmth. To savor that bite of chocolate or to rejoice in the promise of a new day.

Now is the time to take a deep breath and relish in the fact that you can.

My Little Humanitarian

Eryn Rachel Pearl came to us about nine years ago. She was a difficult pregnancy towards the end, a worse delivery and if possible, a terrible recovery! She had to be served eviction notice and then forcefully removed from the warm comfort of her womb (she was sucking her thumb when Dr. Shannon reached in to pull her out). Eryn needed to be started under billy lights and in the first year of life, was hospitalized about six times for various serious illnesses. Dan and I didn't think we would EVER get to live a normal life. She was a fairly calm baby, her little mouth would fly open when ever anything resembling food would pass by it. But again,she was on quite a few steroids and was H.U.N.G.R.Y. all of the time. One babysitter loved to feed her Tammi and her sister Heather would LAUGH at Eryn because she'd smile and hum to her food. Grandpa Julie and Eryn formed a close bond over Cheese Nips and naps in the big recliner once Eryn discovered how to mot ate on her own and could navigate the stairs to the basement. Our favorite nick names were many but we knew she was destined for fame when she paired a furry pink hat, big plastic purple beds, Winnie the Pooh pajama top, diaper and one blue and one pink fuzzy slippers at the age of two. We call her 'Miss Bling-Bling' because even now she loves fancy things. Funny, funny little girl.

Now, Eryn has evolved into a very organized young girl. This child is NOT of me! I'm very casual and prefer to wear jeans and a tee shirt most of the time. Eryn is not complete until her lips are glossed, her hair is brushed (she prefers a chic inverted bob cut) and neatly clipped with clips of matching color to her outfit. A purse filled with the essentials of life-- lip gloss, brush and sunglasses over her shoulder and if she can find them, heels before she leaves the house. Loves cheer leading, jump rope club, honor choir and socializing at lunch.

So, it came as a surprise to her father and I that for her ninth birthday, she asked for food for the food bank. Huh? "Food for the food bank please. I just had Christmas, I have everything I want and I'd like to give food to people who might need it here in Lake Stevens." I'm all for giving, but I'd like presents please, THEREFORE this child can't possibly be for real, or mine, right?

But she is. And she taught us a sweet lesson. She has a generous heart and is genuinely interested in helping less fortunate people. Eryn collected two boxes of food from her friends who came to her party. Dan and Eryn took the food down to the food bank tonight and she got to give it to the people who ran the bank. Right now, people are so in need of a helping hand and our Eryn helped out. The food banks are low in food this time of year and are always grateful for what ever little we can spare. Grandpa Julie's Favorite saying comes to mind... "but for the Grace of God, there go I."

Happy birthday Eryn! You make my heart happy, and my eyes tear up with joy your sweet spirit brings us. You go girlie! :)

Valentine's

Seriously... I L.O.V.E. all holidays... probably because while I was growing up I was denied all of the fun of them. But I think that the Valentine's days of my school days were the hardest to bear (well, Christmas was a pretty darn big event too.) for me. I SO wanted to get the cool tattoo valentines or the conversation heart candies on my desk with my name written in. Never really happened... I was always the 'weird' kid sitting out in the hallway with a coloring sheet at a cold desk while the parties were going on down the hallways. I think once when I was in the second grade my friend Rachel gave me one... which of coarse I showed to my brother who immediately told my mother who made me give it back, used it as a "Witnessing moment". (Yeah, it's o.k. to say WTF? here.) Talk about embarrassing!

So, I LOVE helping the girls make out Valentine's day cards, doing the cool little boxes for their desks... Eden made a cool 'butterfly' box with fly away hearts glued onto it... turned out really cute and she is SO proud of it! Eryn did a basic white on white motif using wedding paper wrap. And on Valentine's day we will have special jello heart desserts and a fancy dinner. I make corny Valentine's cards for the girls and Dan. This year we are starting a new tradition of hiding 10 different colored wrapped kisses around the house as a sort of treasure hunt for the girls. Kind of like a practice run for Easter egg hunting, but it's gonna be so much FUN! One year I made heart shaped cookies with each child's name written in frosting across the tops for the girl's parties at school... a little "Martha Stewart" I know, but it was fun and the girls loved passing them out. Lately I love getting the matching shirts from Target (4.99... can't beat it!) and snapping a picture of the girls dressed in them, and emailing it to Dan's parents as a Valentine card... I discovered this the one year I wasn't organized enough to make the cards in advance and send them out in the mail... Grandparents loved it!

Dan accuses me of living vicariously through my children. Maybe so, but is that really such a bad thing? Why not show them all of the love we feel for them everyday AS WELL as on the special days? Will that spoil them too much, I ask? Really? Or will they look back on their growing up years and think "Wow, my mom really went the extra mile for us..." I WANT my children to grow up with traditions, with little fun things they can pass onto their children. I think back on my childhood, and can count on one hand the WRAPPED gifts I received growing up. Oh, I never lacked any of the basic needs, in fact, I was quite privileged as a teenager. But I always was sad and depressed when ever there was a party going on, yearning to be in the classroom with out shame or fear of discovery for participating in a 'pagan ritual'.

I don't want the reader (If there ever is one for this blog of mine) to go away thinking my parents were the biggest losers out there. They were not, just did the best they thought they could. They made choices based on their beliefs and enforced them, just as I do based on my beliefs for my girls. Hopefully I am more educated and can raise self confident happy children who will grow up and lead productive happy lives... I think that is one of the main goals of living in this mortality.

And somewhere along the lines... I'll get that Valentine... :)

Stuff

This weekend I made my husband... well, actually I guilt ed my husband into doing a service for one of my friends at work. She is a VERY nice lady whom we all adore. She and her husband have just completed building a great and spacious home and after a year of sweat, blood and tears, finally got a certificate of occupation this last week. She called in all of her favors and I promised I would be at her house Saturday morning to help her out. Friday I tell my girls that we were going to go and 'do a service' project the next day... BIG build up mind you. Think Disneyland commercial over voices...all pumped up in sugar coated enthusiasm. I even had Eden in the back hollering "YEA!! We get to go to B!'s HOUSE and HELP HER MOVE!! Mom's the BEST!" I catch dirty looks shot from my husband in my peripheral vision but I blithely push on.

Saturday morning dawns bright and beautiful... I give Dan the choice "You are more than welcome to join us, or you can stay here if you'd like. It's up to you. We are about ready to head out... oh? You're coming? We can wait for you to get your shoes on..." He, sweet man that he is, pulls on his shoes and comes with us. Little did we know what was coming our way...

My friend is a wonderful woman... and also one of the BIGGEST pack rats I have ever seen. We go over to their rental... and we are helping load up several vehicles with stuff. EXPENSIVE things that cost more money than I'd care to think about. We take it up to the new house.. which as I said earlier... is a great and spacious building. We unload a H2 Hummer, an enclosed trailer, a loaded pick up truck and 2 mini vans... and then she announces "Let's go to the mini storage and clean it out so we can be done with that today while we have all of this help.." So we follow along (we've picked up a full sized construction van in this caravan by the way) to the mini storage where we find a unit PACKED to the ceiling, and low and behold, there are TWO units... we didn't get them emptied.

We spent about seven hours helping pack, unpack and clean and what not... and I have to say, my little girls did us proud. They all worked so hard and were willing to do some pretty nasty things to help out a friend. And, we didn't come away unrewarded. B in her beautiful nature blessed us with an American girl doll desk, a plastic turtle, some silk covered wing chairs that will look great in my reading/sitting room and a beautiful leather desk chair.

Which brings me back to my subject line... stuff. I'm cleaning out my garage this next two weeks and am off loading all of the crap that we have packed with us for the last ten years and dumping it!

Anyone want an old ugly piano?

T.G.I.F.!

Pathetic that I look forward to my two days off from work so much! All day yesterday I was like singing a little song in my head "It's my Friday, it's my Friday." as I went from one horrid task to another. In fact, I was SKIPPING down the hallway (if that isn't a sight to see... three hundred pound woman with keys clinking and stethoscope trailing) as I thought about the two glorious days ahead of me. Some times I want to cup them in my hands, like little pearls to treasure, full of hope, wonder and anticipation. I know that sounds funny to some, but there is such a care free release inside of me when it comes to my "Fridays". I'm way more happy that day than any other. So as I'm lifting one guy off the toilet to transfer him to his wheel chair in my head is my little Friday song. Or while I'm standing by one dying guy's bed waiting for him to swallow his pain meds, in my head it's "Friday! Friday!" Even when one is being the biggest jack ass in the world, trying to bully me into doing things his way (it didn't work out like he was expecting by the way) in my head is this little taunting voice "It's my Friday, I get to go home, you don't." Childish, I know, but sometimes that's what gets me through my day.

Now, I'm on my Saturday. What to do, what to do?? I could vacuum, dust, polish,scrub out the toilets or clean the kitchen. Or I could play with Eden.. who is still too sick and tired to go to school this afternoon and is lounging around in her Jonas brother's pajamas. I love listening to her little conversations she has with her toys or even the dogs. She shows no fear when it comes to supervising the two dogs. Sadie is a golden retriever that we 'puppy sit' for a couple of teachers during the day, and Kate is our black Cocker Spaniel and they have their roles reversed. Sadie thinks she is a little teeny tiny lap dog and Kate thinks she is a big 80 pound pit bull. This morning Eden was laying on Sadie playing "vet" and was brushing out her coat... golden dog hair all over the freaking carpet by the way. Kate came running in from the other room and literally dog piled the two of them in a tangle of legs and fur. Nothing but blue pajama legs were showing of Eden and a little croaky voice shouting "KATE! GET OFF!" I wish I had been faster with the camera.

Dan tells me that I need to vote yes on the school levy this Tuesday if I want him to have a job next year. We always have that little insecurity hanging over us until May when he gets his contract renewed. Last year he beat out being riffed by a seniority margin of 4 months. SCARY! So, all of my Lake Stevens voter friends, PLEASE vote yes... it would be awkward to say the least if he looses his job next year! :)

Wishful Thinking Photography

So, I tried this once already, but for some reason, I can't find it on my blog page.

ANYWAY! We are getting our family portraits done by this great new photographer named Heidi who has opened her new studio named Wishful Thinking.. find it listed on my blogs I follow. She is AMAZING! And maybe if I plug her enough, I'll win the free give away she is doing! LOL.

Getting Started.

Totally new at this... weird, I'm being dragged into the virtual future! This is where we all run screaming for the hills! :)

About me, I'm looking forty in the face and am having a few hyperventilating moments, but over all am happy with my life. I have four beautiful daughters that make me laugh pretty much every day. A wonderfully smart talented man who for some incomprehensible reason married ME and chose to be my eternal companion. My family defines me and makes me want to be a better person. I have a pretty good career and am planning on going back to school this year (because I don't have enough to do apparently) to farther my professional skills. I love to cook, and to feed other people comfort foods and my family puts up with my adventures in the kitchen. Well, except they really didn't care for Ratatouille... they called it Veggie Pooie.

Some times life drives me crazy. Like parents who totally don't get the whole religion thing, siblings who are out of control crazy due to circumstances of their own making, a check book that doesn't balance and never enough time in the day to get things done. I have to just RELAX and let things take care of themselves. Easier said than done! But over all, I think I'll slide into my grave on one wheel, tattered, exaughsted, out of breath, in disarray with grease splatters on my shirt, hair in a pony tail and be able to say "Whew, what a ride!"

And that my friends, is my first attempt at a blog.