Emily and Breakfast

Weekends! Oh, how I L.O.V.E. them! I love the prospect of having two whole days off to do with what ever I want! I love the anticipation that builds up during the week, like there is some fabulous ending in sight of the weary work week. It might just be that I don't have to pack lunches for two nights in a row. A dreary task if there ever was one!

My daughter Emily would rather die than admit it, but she loves the days that I'm off too. I work the night shift now, so there is mom at home during the evening for tucking in to beds and reading goodnight stories and prayers. Also, mom is there to cook dinner and we eat together every night. BUT the payment for such bliss in the evenings, is that mom is not home when the older girls and Dad leave for school. So the nights before, I make lunches for everyone and put them in the fridge. Then I either make breakfast and place in the fridge for microwaving in the morning or I lay out cold cereal, or the toaster, bread and peanut butter and hot chocolate already measured out into cups... So that when Emily wakes in the morning she has a meal before going to school. This is the child who as soon as she could talk would lay quietly in bed with us in the morning waiting until we had an eye open. As soon as she saw our eyes, it was time to GET UP! Make MUSH! Or better yet, bacon and eggs, pancakes, french toast, waffles with strawberries sausage gravy over biscuits. She hasn't changed much in 14 years. Every Monday morning I am home. Every Monday morning there is a stealthy footstep at the side of my bed, and a soft voice "Mom, are you going to make breakfast?" Emily is the first up in the morning every day as her school starts the earliest. She wakes up at 5:15 every day, eats breakfast by herself, then wakes the rest of the house at 6:00am to have family prayer and then she leaves the house by 6:15 to pick up her girlfriend who walks to the bus with her. Such a good sweet girl. So I figure it's a good gig that I get up and fix her a fresh hot breakfast on Monday. We have a few minutes alone together in the morning before sisters get up and demand attention from me.

I treasure the time, usually spent quietly, sometimes talking over things, but mostly just the TIME with her, getting to watch her sweet face slowly wake up. I usually don't eat, it makes my stomach flip flop if I try, but I sit and sip peppermint tea and visit with her. I know that these moments are shortening, the time will come when she can barely drag her self up in time for seminary, before the boys will start knocking at the door for dates, before what I say is stupid and old fashioned or worse, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HER!

So, I don't mind getting up on the only morning I could sleep in a little bit with Dan. I make her something great that she doesn't make for herself yet and I watch my baby girl grow into a beautiful young woman. And hopefully some where in the turmoil of teenage angst she will remember that I will always listen. I will always love her. I will always be waiting with open arms for her to return. And that I love her.
Posted by Naomi Alderson at 7:19 AM

Just Say NO!

I must have mastered that NO! to blogging for the last 7 months! :)

I really can't use the excuse that I've been too busy, EVERYONE has that excuse! But as I say in my most honest and sincere voice, I have been really REALLY busy! Seems like working full time is the killer for all energy and creative processes when you have four children involved in various activities! I'm not complaining, really, I'm not! I am very blessed to have a husband gainfully employed, a fairly stable job myself and the girls are all growing up and stronger each day. That being said, here's a brief overview of my last few months.

Had a great holiday season. Had pneumonia in January, didn't die, just wanted too. Elaina had a flare in March, started Remicade and now has done a 180, gained some weight and looks AWESOME! Emily joined track,stayed the coarse and finished the season... bless her heart. Eryn did honors choir and participated in the all school concert...did wonderful! Eden has shot up about 3 inches, hates to eat a balanced meal, loves her dog to pieces and is generally a happy camper. Dan is gearing up for his summer fun fest of work by doing a bunch of professional conferences and summer school.

And that pretty much sums up our life for the last few months. Back to my heading.. The first thing they teach you in CORE (the six week training session at the prison) is to say "No" and you can always change your mind and say yes later after you have had time to think about your answer or have done some research into the matter. Evidently, this weekend I have forgotten the basic rule. Overbooked but am loving it! We started by saying YES! to keeping Sadie over the long weekend, love the golden retriever as if she were my own dog, but slobbering furry C average student she is! Then my sweet adopted nephews came over to visit... I love them here, they are so funny and well... boyish! The girls love having them here too. I think it might be because they do the chores for the girls, just a thought. Then one of my good friends is out of town, so I've been going over before work every day to make sure the house is still standing, the 15 year old daughter is home when she needs to be and the momma and daddy are all o.k. (they are elderly and disabled) Then I have a slight dinner party for 8 plus my 6 planned for tomorrow and a house to clean. Deep breath, we're not done! I want to get a lot accomplished, but might just have to hang up the towel soon... We promised the girls to take them to see Pirates, the boys out to dinner and stopping in to feed a pig and two rabbits for a different friend who is out of town. Then off to Costco and Target, plan a birthday party for EDEN who is turning SEVEN! Make out the invitations and try not to kill everyone in my tornado path of business!

But, I thank God everyday for my family. For my life. Because without Him guiding me and giving my feeble knees strength, I would not make it. Let's not forget my great family, because without them my purpose in life would be misdirected.

So, in the immortal words of King Julian:

"My answer will always be YES! Unless a no is necessary!"

"Apple Pie and Me oh my!

... Home is where I might be... uh huh... take me back...I'm comin' home"

I have that song zipping through my head. I wish I knew it's name and who sings it and then I could down load it and groove to it. I've heard it on the radio all summer long, and can never get the name. So if there are people out there who know it and can tell it to me... LET ME KNOW! For I fear I'm driving my dear old husband to drink humming the tune and coming up with one word in ten. I think I've covered my lack of musical talent in earlier blogs. Even the girls will correct me now... I used to be able to sing to them at night, usually church primary songs and now they sit up and holler "MOM! That's NOT how it goes!!" which in turn makes me holler back.. "Then YOU sing it to me!" LIttle farts. They usually can sing it to me.:)

So tonight I must have made the most delicious meal ever. That or I starved them long enough that they ate EVERYthing off of the table, I kid you not. I did an apple pie (Thanks song) out of Mackintosh apples, I grate a little fresh ginger and lemon peel into the apples and let it sit while I make the crust. It gives the pie a little zip. Then I chopped up onions, carrots and celery and laid it in the bottom of my glass 9x13. Then I washed my bird, patted him dry with paper towels and then rubbed him down with melted butter, sea salt, crushed garlic and 2 tablespoons of dry Ranch Dressing mix. (I mixed all of the dry ingredients with the butter so it was like a lotion.) The girls all think it's funny when I'm doing a chicken for dinner... I sing and make it dance a little... I tell them it's like a little baby, we give it a bath, dry it off and then lotion it up. I'm evidently a crack up because it never fails... lots of giggling girls...even the too cool 13 year old is caught. What ever it takes. :) Anyway... I baked the bird and then made these great mashed potatoes with cream and butter. Once the bird was done, I drained all the cholesterol packed juices into a pan and mixed in some cornstarch and made a delightful gravy to spoon over the spuds. And is there any doubt now, why I weigh 300 pounds?

Actually, I don't cook like that every day. Usually we have a grilled or baked protein, fresh salad and a steamed veggie. But when I do cook like Julia Child, I usually do it on Sunday. Some thing about the old tradition of having a grand meal in the early evening after church that has always appealed to me. Especially if I can get a family from church to come over last minute. I love doing that. Of coarse, Dan is driven crazy by it... he is such an anti social butterfly. I on the other hand, LOVE feeding other people. I like the cooking and hosting part. Lot's of fun. And I was surprised to find out that my girls are becoming like me. They like to have people over and invite the neighborhood kids into our garage and pass out snacks and bottles of water. Drives their dad crazy makes me laugh and offer cookies too.

Um. Nothing says fall like an apple pie made from new crop apples. Well, maybe dipping carmel and sliced apples might say fall louder... but not by much! :)

Late Nights and Early Mornings

New blog design. So much lighter than the black, and believe me, I'm stupid when it comes to updating and decorating.

Speaking of which, I went to the fabulous house of a friend, the cute little mama has four daughters like me but smaller. Her house is SO freaking cute! All decorated, cute little artsy fartsy things on the walls. I loved it. then I came home to my house. Not so cute and artsy-fartsy. Oh well, at least it's semi- clean and smells nice. :) I did try and paint my living room. This where the Late nights comes in. Dan had a consulting job out of town and was gone for a week. I took the girls over to their grandparents for their vacation and I came home to work. I got a wild hair up in a dark place and decided "Let's paint!" I picked out these great colors... a Chocolate cherry for the powder room down stairs and Bearded Iris for the great room fire place wall. Picture deep dark brick red and deep dark blue/purple. While I was up a ladder, I remembered on important fact... DAN is the painter in the family, not I. I'm slapping on thick coats of the red in the power room.. decide I need to do two walls instead of the original plan of just one wall. Picture myself, a three hundred pound woman teetering atop a step ladder, straining and stretching to reach the upper left hand corner of the wall directly over the toilet. I think to myself... 'I'd better not put my weight on to the toilet, it'll break... I think I can just reach...' I loose my balance and careen into the wall, my roller swiping across the ceiling on my decent. Nice. Now not only can I not reach the corner, but I cannot reach the ceiling to clean off the paint. Dan is GOING TO KILL me. Good thing I had covered the floor with the drop cloth. By the way, I'm working full time during this rip apart and paint project and Dan keeps calling me to ask me what I'm doing. Am I lonely? Am I getting enough sleep? Do I miss the girls? What am I doing? I'm huffing and puffing and sweating like crazy when I answer the multiple calls. Do I DARE tell him what I'm up to? Ah.. no. I have to say, I love the colors. I really truly love the great room wall... I even remembered how to paint by the time I got to it so it looks pretty good. Now, if only I can finish the guest bedroom....

School is back in... YIPPEE! We've had a few hairy days with Elaina and her need to use the toilet and to remember to eat. Oh, that's right... she ISN'T eating and it's kind of freaking me out. Trying not to over stress her out or to threaten too much. But if she doesn't start eating, we are going to be back on the good ship to hell like we were in May. Dr. Christie has said we may need to start pumping in pedisure at night to maintain weight. That'll be lovely. Can't wait.

Eden told me on the first day of school "Mom! You can leave now!". Gratitude for you. She had a hard day today though. Poor baby. She and Eryn rode their bikes to school... but Eden crashed and burned and ended up needing to come home. She told me "Mom, I just want to stay home and play with Kate and Sadie today," as she is crying broken heartedly. So I let her lay with me in the bed (I'm trying to sleep as I work nights) and cry a little. Then I was a mean MEAN mommy and told her she had to go to school because that was her work. My job was to sleep and she would not want to sleep all day with me. "Yes I would mom! I would take a nap!" Which is when I got up out of bed, coaxed her down stairs, stuffed some chocolate in her weeping mouth ( it worked by the way, dried up those tears in record time.) and drove her to school in my plaid pajamas. Once she got there, she was o.k. This whole day everyday thing is a killer.

Now the sweet babies are all tucked into bed, the dad should be home from teaching City U in the next half hour and I will be off to work. I got to sleep for four hours today. Hopefully I will be busy enough at work to keep awake. If not, there is always zip fizz and diet Dr. Pepper. >!< Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it for this late night, early morning!

Fabric Patterns

So after an absence of about... four months... here I am again. I forgot how therapeutic this was until I was reading a couple of my older posts. :)

In May we had a major snag in the fabric of our lives. Elaina was wasting away to virtually nothing and we finally got a Doc who knew what he was doing and diagnosed her with Crone's disease. We have since learned that this is an acute inflammation of the bowels caused by the immune system over reacting. Elaina has severe diffuse involvement of her GI tract with extra system involvement of her joints. Sounds serious, and it is. We have been painfully making ground with her recovery and how to deal with this as it is a life long challenge she will have. Part of the challenge is figuring out what medications will work and what ones don't. We will see an endocrinologist on Monday, right after we see her GI specialist, and then on the 9th we will see a rumatologist for her joints.

In all of this trial we have been going through, as difficult as it is watching her struggle and trying to figure out what relieves her pain and discomfort. We have to admit with out sounding like over zealous weirdos... we have seen the hand of God in our lives. We have been to our pediatric MD who on a Monday, ran some tests and refered us to Children's in Seattle. On Thursday of the same week, we were admitted to Dr. Christie who just happens to be the top Pediatric GI specialist in the greater Northwest. (who by the way, was not seeing new patients.) We had a CT scan on the next day, and rapidly progressed to Endoscopy with a diagnosis that same day. Then we went home, and were back the following day with a child knocking at heaven's door. Literally. We knew she was sick, just didn't know how bad. Elaina had dropped to 48 pounds and her blood pressure was dangerously low and her heart rate way too high. Children's took us in and 10 days later, we were allowed to come home as long as we had 24/7 medical care. Here is where we really knew we were blessed. I am licensed and qualified in the state of Washington to do home care. I have many friends who live close by who are also more qualified and licensed in the state of Washington I could call for help. Dan's mom came and stayed with us for a month. We had friends and family praying for us, doing our childcare, bringing us meals. My co-workers opened their generous hearts and poured out financial aide to us by donating their sick time and vacation to me so I could stay home for a month as well as giving us money to met the bills that were still coming in. Dan's co-workers kicked in and took over his class room management and donated lesson plans so he could be off with us too. It was a time of humbling experiences and heart breaking kindness.

Now, it's a daily grind. We have to keep her hydrated, fed and gaining weight. It's a daily struggle. We also have to not forget the three other girls in the house. They sometimes get frightened when Elaina is too ill to get up and walk on her own. They sometimes will be come resentful of Elaina not being able to go and play with them, or when one of us cannot take them to do what they want to do. Or it is too difficult for Elaina to walk the malls, go to the fair, ride the rides or go to the beach. It's hard to keep an even balance in our lives.

But then there are days when they all can laugh and giggle and we hear the joy in our home again. There are times when it breaks my heart when I come upon Elaina and Eryn leaning into each other, heads together reading. Or Eden asking Elaina to help her with her math work book and Elaina is a patient kind teacher. And when Emily bakes something but knows Elaina can't tolerate something and will make special ones just for her.

There is peace and joy woven into the fabric too.

Elaina Raye Pearl

I can't hardly believe it's been 11 years since Elaina came into this world! Crazy man, Crazy~! I have to say she is a challenge to keep up with sometimes. As a small baby, she had horrible colds/pneumonia/asthma that we were in and out of the MD office and once or twice the hospital. Thank goodness she appears to be out growing it! Walked at 10 months, oral fixated and sucked her thumb, didn't talk until the age of 2 but when she did start, it was full on sentences. And from the time she was teeny tiny she has always had an opinion on how she liked things. Once, her grandmother made her a dress, cute little green and lavender butterfly print sundress and short jacket. Elaina and Emily were up on the window seat at Great Grandma's house in Spokane, Elaina was all of 2 as Eryn was about four months old. My mother in law kept talking up the dress, got Elaina into it and then asked her frowning face "Honey, don't you like it?" Elaina responded with "Nope. I don't yike it." and shook her head in a sad little way. (Great and I were stifling giggles.) "OH HONEY!? Really, you really don't like it??" Grandma asks again. Elaina responded "Nope, Not today." and realized that Grandma was about to cry, finished up with, "It's too bad. Maybe tomorrow." By this time Great Grandma and I are literally ba ha ha ha-ing rolling on the floor. Elaina has always been the kind of child who wants to put her clothes on, have them skin tight to streamline her body better, and then not think about it for the rest of the day. All hell breaks loose if she is uncomfortable in ANY way and heaven forbid should something pinch,scratch or be too loose! When Elaina got the chicken pox at the age of five, she would be so miserable that WE were too. I would run warm water into the tub with oatmeal bath and she would totally submerge her body in the water with just her face showing and go to sleep. I spent many hours by the side of the tub. She had a VERY light case of the pox... her sister's were covered in head to toe and didn't fuss nearly as much.

Now Elaina is a beautiful young girl. Right on the edge of young women's. She has a gentle heart and loves to help her little sisters read, do math and is a patient kind teacher. Elaina's goal in life is to grow up, be a teacher and live by the ocean so she can surf in the summers. She loves heat, likes to lay in the hot sand at the beaches and loves to be bundled in her blanket over the heat vents in the morning. I love it when she comes into the kitchen and ties an apron on and asks "How can I help you, Mama?" and she loves it when I let her chop, stir, mix and cook. Book smart, so smart that it's kind of amazing to think she came from me! But sometimes, she needs help with common sense reasoning...and that is where her sisters step in and help her out. Elaina is pretty much the only one who excels at Rock Band, the only one of the six of us with good rhythm and pitch. :) She is so in tune with the spirit! We can always tell the level of spiritual calm in our house by how happy Elaina is. When she gives her testimony of the Savior, it can bring tears to our eyes and the spirit touches even the hardest heart in the crowd. (We know this because she bore her testimony of the Savior to my parents and even they were impressed with her.)

We are all so excited to watch her grow up and are so very happy she chose to come to this Earth and live with us in our family. We can't hardly wait to see what will come next in her life! But for right now, we are content to have her right at the cusp of teenager life and still think her parents know it all, listen to awesome music, think up amazing things to do and are still cool to hang out with on a weekend.

You rock it girlie!

Life is To Short!

Tonight we learned that one of our favorite Lts from the correctional complex where I work was killed in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work today. A 47 year old father, husband, son, boss, friend, brother.... hard to wrap your mind around it. Brings to mind the Billy Joel song; 'Only the good die young' and how we never know when our time here is over. I'm sure he didn't hop on his bike and head home thinking that it might be the last time he gets to feel the wind on his face, hear the sound of his wife's voice over the phone, maybe listen to his favorite song on the radio.

Four years ago in June, my oldest sister was killed in her home in Sacramento, CA. In April of that year, my brother in law called to tell me that she wanted to separate and that she was being 'stubborn' and insisting on time apart, maybe even a divorce after 24 years of marriage. I told him that I was going to call Rachel and talk to her, he assured me that by my doing that would push her right over the edge and I should just 'keep her in my prayers.' I spoke to my sister over the phone many times... and we emailed EVERY day some times four and five times a day. We could crack each other up like no one else could. But never once did I get on a plane and fly down to visit, never once did I just come out and bluntly ask her what was going on. Just waited for her to tell me... when waiting was the wrong thing to do. On June 17th my brother in law used a heavy book to bludgeon her into submission, then proceeded to suffocate her to death with is his bare hands, then wrapped saran wrap around her head for good measure. Other things came out in the autopsy report that are better left alone. I spoke to my sister on the 16th via email... she emailed me back a couple of times, and the last one she sent at 9:30 that night was about her heart and how it was hurting her. I didn't receive it until the following morning after I received word that she had been killed.

Not a day goes by that I wish I had picked up that phone to call her on Friday afternoon like I had thought about doing but got caught up in the daily life of home instead. I wish I had paid more attention to all of her, in hindsight, hints that she had dropped to me... but I was too blind to see. My sister died at the age of 46. And the bastard that took her life, he is serving a fifteen year term for 2nd degree murder.

I know that I don't stop and tell my kids I love them as much as I should. I don't stop and tell my husband that I adore him and that I'm grateful for him in my life. I don't pause in my flight out the door everyday to stop and feel the sun on my face or notice the new sprouts of grass on the lawn where Dan reseeded it this fall. But I do try to call my little sister every day... or text her or message her on Facebook. I want her to know that I think of her at least once a day. I leave a note on the counter for the girls and Dan every day to say 'I love you.' I touch my children while they sleep in their beds late at night when I get home, to assure them hopefully on some sub conscience level that they are loved by me. I do try and touch bases with my friends weekly, some times only monthly, but I DO try.

I know that our Lt is off on other business right now, and that we will see him again. But this is a time for us to take a breath, to stop and feel the sun on our face, smell the scent of our children's hair when you kiss them on the head and tell them that you love them. To turn to your spouse and touch their cheek or curl up against them in the bed at night and bask in their warmth. To savor that bite of chocolate or to rejoice in the promise of a new day.

Now is the time to take a deep breath and relish in the fact that you can.